Intellectual Wallpaper

A constant swish of the leaves

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You Know What Looks Great? A Rose Trellis.

“We’re never going to attract awesome super spies like MI6 does until the CIA relaxes its police on fucking around.” –Danny Zuker

“A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines.” –Frank Lloyd Wright

“Today’s the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party. As I’m here I’ll swig some Typhoo and hurl myself into the Charles River. You’re welcome.” –Hugh Bonneville

Filed under mi6 cia danny zuker frank lloyd wright hugh bonneville boston tea party

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Mini Stalin

“What’s it like seeing your face on these big posters?” “Brilliant. It is as the world should be. I’ve always seen myself as a mini Stalin, and it’s finally happened.” –Interviewer and Martin Freeman at The Hobbit premiere

“It is an uncanny feeling, that rare occasion when one catches a glimpse of oneself in repose. An ungaurded moment, stripped of artifice, when one forgets to fool even oneself.” – The House at Riverton by Kate Morton

“I am interested by the way time erases real lives, leaving only vague imprints. Blood and spirit fade away so that only names and dates remain.” – The House at Riverton by Kate Morton

Filed under martin freeman the house at riverton kate morton

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They’re A Pretty Good Grid

“A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination. On a cold, rainy island, they are the only sheltered public spaces where you are not a consumer, but a citizen, instead. A human with a brain and a heart and a desire to be uplifted, rather than a customer with a credit card and an inchoate ‘need’ for ‘stuff’.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“I once saw [Dan Stevens] accidentally fire a champagne cork at a tramp in Soho—but he subsequently apologized so profusely and literally handsomely that, in the end, I think the tramp felt flattered to have been assaulted by someone so facially perfect.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“I touch the Hofner bass with my forefinger. I imagine it left, carelessly, on the floor of Abbey Road as Paul and John sit next to it—smoking ciggies over it, scribbling the lyrics on a sheet of notebook paper. That’s when I start crying. In a way, I’m not really surprised I’m crying. As a godless hippy, The Beatles are the grid by which I understand the universe.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“We all want to believe in something we can regard with the awe and trust of a child. A Beatle is a man-made thing you can regard with the same astonishment you would the Moon.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

Filed under caitlin moran moranthology libraries reading dan stevens the beatles paul mccartney

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One In Four Is Pretty Good Odds

“If I had to marry one of the cast of Lord of the Rings, it would be Sam Gamgee—the only completely prosaic, normal, non-magic one, who comes across like the owner of a garage in Cricklewood having a particularly bad day, what with this vexatious epic quest, and all.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“To those who still deludedly think they prefer Star Wars over Ghostbusters, all I need to do is ask you this: You don’t really want to be a Jedi, do you? In a greige cowl, getting off with your sister, without a single gag across three films? I think if you thought about it a little while longer, you’d realize that you’d far rather be a Ghostbuster: a nerd in New York with an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back, and a one-in-four chance of being Bill Murray.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“In a cramped, crowded nation, we know the essence of politeness is ignoring pretty much everyone around us.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“In this feature, the BBC let me go around the Doctor Who studios, where I found the Face of Boe in a warehouse and sat on him.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“It is [Russel T. Davies], above all others, who is responsible for the best program in Britain in the twenty-first century being, against all the laws of probability, a children’s show, made on a miniscule budget, in Wales, by gays.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

Filed under caitlin moran moranthology lord of the rings star wars ghostbusters doctor who the face of boe russel t. davies

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Three More Posts Of Caitlin Moran!

“There is some serious stuff in here – recently, I have enjoyed taking to my writing bureau, and writing about poverty, benefit reform and the coalition government in the manner of a shit Dickens, or Orwell, but with tits.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“The motto I have penned on my knuckles is that this is the best world we have—because it’s the only world we have. It’s the simplest math ever. However many terrible, rankling, peeve-inducing things may occur, there are always libraries. And rain-falling-on-sea. And the moon, and love. There is always something to look back on, with satisfaction, or forward to, with joy. There is always a moment where you boggle at the world—at yourself—at the whole, unlikely, precarious business of being alive—and then start laughing.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“The TV review allows me to have a good old natter about what we all saw on telly that week—one of the great pleasures of living on a small island that still generally tends to watch one of four channels.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

“If there was one single thing we could learn from the life of Michael Jackson, it would seem—other than that sequin-appliquéd military-wear dates unexpectedly well—it is that child stardom is a terrible idea.” –Moranthology by Caitlin Moran

Filed under caitlin moran moranthology life tv michael jackson child stars

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Dream Lady

“[Judi Dench] makes these like needlework embroideries on set in the tedium of filming”, says MacFadyen, “but they are all: ‘You Are a Cunt’. And she gives them as presents. And it’s Dame Judi Dench. And she is doing this beautifully, intricate, ornate (work). You kind of see the work materializing as the shoot goes on. Like: ‘You Are a Fucking Shit.’ Knightley never received her embroidered cushion from Dench but remarks: “I love that! She gives this fantastic air. She just sits there and she embroiders and you think: ‘Oh, that’s so nice! It’s Judi Dench. It’s so quaint; she’s embroidering a cushion,’ and you go: ‘What are you embroidering?’ And (it says): ‘Fuck!’ Apparently she’s got hundreds of them just covered in swear words or rude sayings.”

Filed under judi dench matthew mcfadyen swearing kiera knightley

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Crazy Talk

“Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result — eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly — in you.”-Bill Bryson 

Filed under bill bryson

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“I want to do a production of Footloose where I’m the mayor, but instead of banning dancing, I ban skateboarding. Spoiler Alert: they never get their skateboards back. And I sing every song. #skaterhater” –Bill Zimmerman

“Detroit is not what people think it is. It’s better and it’s worse.” –Patrick Butler, Detroit Public Schools teacher

Filed under Bill Zimmerman patrick butler detroit skateboarding

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Basic Shoe Requirements And Reproductive Rights: CM In A Nutshell

“If I’m going to spunk £500 on a pair of designer shoes, it’s going to be a pair that I can (a) dance to ‘Bad Romance’ in and (b) will allow me to run away from  a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase. That’s the minimum I ask from my footwear. To be able to dance in it, and for it not to get me murdered.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“Every woman who chooses – joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of her own free will and desire- not to have a child does womankind a massive favor in the long term. We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“After all, if women’s power and creativity had simply been suppressed by thousands of years of sexist bullshit, surely we should have knocked out Star Wars and conquered France within a year of getting the vote? But of course, on being freed, people who’ve been psychologically crushed don’t immediately start doing glorious, confident, ostentatious things. Instead, they sit around for a while, going, ‘What the fuck was that?’ trying to work out why it happened, trying – often – to see if it was their fault.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“I cannot understand antiabortion arguments that center on the sanctity of life. As a species, we’ve fairly comprehensively demonstrates that we don’t believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain, and lifelong, grinding poverty show us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we’ve made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

Filed under caitlin moran how to be a woman feminism heels choice freedom abortion

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More Caitlin Moran

“In a nutshell, then, by choosing food as your drug – sugar highs, or the deep, soporific calm of carbs, the Valium of the working classes – you can still make the packed lunches, do the school run, look after the baby, pop in on your mum, and then stay up all night with an ill five-year-old – something that is not an option if you’re caning off a gigantic bag of skunk and knocking back quarts of Scotch. Overeating is the addiction choice of carers…Fat people aren’t indulging in the ‘luxury’ of their addiction making themselves useless, chaotic, or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn’t inconvenience anyone.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“That ‘Girl Power’ has been the sole rival to the word ‘feminism’ in the last 50 years is a cause for much sorrow on behalf of the women. After all, P. Diddy has had four different names, and he’s just one man.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“All weddings seem to boil down to acting like Michael Jackson at the height of his insanity – pretending to be a celebrity for one insanely expensive day.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

“Ladies, I’m going to put it on the line. I’m going to say what, over the last 13 years, I have gradually realized, and what we all secretly knew anyway, the first time we put heels on: there’re only ten people on the world, tops, who should actually wear heels. And six of those are drag queens. The rest of us just need to…give up. Surrender. Finally acquiesce to what nature is telling us. We can’t walk in them. WE CANNOT WALK IN THE DAMN THINGS.” –How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

Filed under caitlin moran how to be a woman feminism food addiction food addiction heels